I so wanted to express the gratitude I feel in a poem to you
and it turned out to be one of the more difficult things I have ever tried to do.
It seemed like such a simple thing to be able to say
and it is, when I speak to each one along the way,
but putting into words what people and places have meant to me
as I’ve made my journey that at times seemed like eternity
seems such an inadequate way to express how my soul has been touched
by ones who inspired and gave me the love and support that provided the crutch
for every step that I took along the way
and brought me to where I am right now, today.
This desire to find words to express how I feel
grew even stronger after sitting in a sacred chapel where I made no appeal,
where there was no beseeching or requesting as I have often done in the past
but rather I sat there in sacred silence complete and fulfilled at last.
The words I spoke to that Great One from inside my heart
were that I needed nothing, I was just there to express gratitude for a new start.
In my mind’s eye came the people and places who have touched my soul quite deep
and soft tears rolled down my face on each cheek.
For several weeks now I have been in great awe at what has transpired
and it came upon the heels of my decision to have fear be retired.
And it wasn’t just faces of kind ones who came into my mind
but also those who have treated me in ways that were quite unkind,
for even those have assisted me in getting to where I am today
because without them there would be no contrast and no impetus to move but rather just continue the same old way.
I do believe that at the core of every human being
there is goodness that exists but is sometimes hidden from seeing.
The outer picture often shows us cruelty and abuse and things that put fear in our eyes
but I do indeed wonder if those experiences are there so that we will realize
that there is purpose to everything regardless of how it looks
and the answers to our deepest questions can never be found in books.
So when I express to someone how they have touched my soul
I wonder if they fully understand their presence in my life has contributed to making me whole.
2011 ＠ Carolyn Sommers